New E.D. Brings Warmth to Crisis Support Services

By Binh Au

Everyone at Crisis Support Services is excited to have Nancy Salamy as the new executive director. Nancy did a fantastic job during her interim period as ED, setting the budget for the new fiscal year and creating new After-Hours phone service contracts to supplement our income. She also had to take care of the day-to-day, administrative, financial, and development duties.  Along with all her skills; Nancy brings special warmth to her new position.  She started at CSS in January 1992, while in graduate school pursuing a master’s degree in counseling psychology.  Her friend had recently passed away following a fight with melanoma, a serious form of skin cancer, and Nancy was interested in the grief counseling program to gain a better understanding of what her friend and her friend’s family were going through. This compassion has influenced and enhanced everything Nancy has done for the agency over the last 12 years.  She expanded the “Teens for Life” program from 2,297 to over 15,657 youth reached annually and successfully created and coordinated four countywide “Save our Youth” conferences.  She brought her expertise to her trainings for community-based organizations, schools, teachers, and faith-based groups.  She also has put in her time on the agency’s 24-hour crisis lines.  Now, she comes into the crisis center each day to meet all the volunteers and to offer her support and guidance.  This warmth makes Crisis Support Services a very special place to be, and all our staff congratulates Nancy Salamy for her new role at CSS.

Greeting from the new Executive Director:

When our Executive Director left the agency in January, our Board of Trustees asked me to take on the role of Interim Executive Director.  I believe that my time as the interim Executive Director was a very smooth transition, for the agency and for all involved.  The staff of CSS has responded to my guidance in a very supportive way. 

Almost every person who becomes involved with CSS finds himself or herself in a long-term commitment to the work of the agency.  This will be my 13^th year at the agency.  I value all of our programs and have been most fortunate to be able to use my skills and experiences in a blend of administrative, development, educational, and clinical work. I am clearly ready, based upon my experience and my work history at the agency, to take on a new professional challenge on a permanent basis.

Before deciding to apply for this job, I wanted to be certain that the Executive Director position was the best fit for me and the best for CSS; upon reflection, I believed that it was both. Clearly, I know the agency well. I have a deep knowledge and a passionate commitment to the work of the agency, the Board of Trustees, and the staff. 

As the Executive Director, I add value in the personal relationships I have cultivated over the years: with Alameda County Behavioral Health Care; our Board of Supervisors; the Mental Health Advisory Board; community-based agencies; some of the foundations that support CSS; and the larger community of schools, and mental health professionals.  I have received special recognition by Dr. Marye Thomas, Director of Behavioral Health Care Services, and the Alameda County Board of Supervisors for my work of excellence in organizing four countywide conferences.

I embrace new challenges; I am dedicated to hard work and I’m able to recognize when I need to consult with outside expertise.  I believe that I will be able to achieve more of the agency’s goals in a shorter time, given my experience with CSS’ operations and my positive relationships with our staff.  I will help support and explore opportunities that will improve the quality of our services and the operation of the agency.

I am so proud to continue to be part of such a great organization and to have the opportunity to take on this role of leadership.  I take this responsibility very seriously.  I am surrounded by an amazing group of people; our staff and volunteers working in many different capacities, with tremendous commitment and passion to make certain that are services are available 24/7.  We are of different cultures, ages and languages, together with the same goal – to extend a helping hand to someone in need.

I look forward to working closely with Crisis Support Services in its important mission to save lives and prevent suicide.

Nancy A. Salamy, MFT

Executive Director

Straight Talk about Teen Suicide

By Devah Defusco

  Mercedes Coleman coordinates the Teens for Life Program which reaches out to over 15,000 students/year.

 There are a few misconceptions and myths about teen suicide. The first myth is that having suicidal thoughts is abnormal.   Throughout a lifetime, the average person will, at one time or another, have fleeting suicidal thoughts and feelings in response to a situational crisis; i.e. divorce, unemployment, illness, etc.  These are times when our usual stress management and coping strategies are taxed beyond what we are used to dealing.

   Kids are no exception.  Kids can have 10 situational crises in one day; i.e. a bad test score, big pimple, broken heart, loss of a pet, best friend moving away, sibling discord,  etc. When they start having difficulty managing, they too start looking for new ways to solve their problems and/or reduce their stress. 

   For all of us there are some key elements that affect how well we will manage a crisis. 

.    Duration of the crisis- The longer it is, the more support and self-care we need.

      Outcome of the crisis- Have you bounced back? This is referred to as resilience.

3.   Effective coping-What you do to meet the demand of a crisis? Some methods include talking about it, working out, asking for help, focusing on what you can do, taking a break, family time, enough sleep, healthy food.  Effective coping helps you deal with the crisis at hand and enables you to meet the next crisis with more resolve.

4.   Ineffective coping-Sleeping all the time, numbing, cutting, drugs/alcohol, promiscuity, acting out, withdrawing, depression, and suicide attempts.  Habits of ineffective coping result in diminished capacity to meet the demands of present and future challenges.

  The second myth is that most suicides are caused by a single dramatic and traumatic event.  The truth is that precipitating factors may trigger a suicidal decision, but more typically the deeply troubled person has suffered long periods of severe unhappiness and hopelessness. Prolonged feelings of isolation, hopelessness, despair, anger and shame have been associated with ineffective coping and the risk of suicide.  

   Folks much like yourself, many with no counseling background, volunteer on the crisis lines and we train them to be suicide prevention and crisis intervention counselors.  One of the first things we teach them is the third myth: that if you ask someone at risk directly about suicide, you’ll plant the idea in their head and cause a suicide.  This is not true.  Depressed and troubled teens need attention and emotional support.  Encouraging them to talk about their feelings can be a therapeutic first step.

   Adolescents will sometimes mention suicide without ever intending to actually kill themselves.  They will say things like, “I wish I was dead.”  “I wish I was never born.”  “I hope I never wake up.”  “You’ll be happy when I am gone.” Some will write it in their journals.  Some will complain to friends. Some will think it.  A few will try to kill themselves.  And some will succeed.  

   For kids the taboo on suicide has to do with betraying friendships.  Loyalty among peer relationships is so important to kids that it puts most of what goes on between them and all around them outside the reach of adults.

   Kids worry about other kids, support each other, know who and what to avoid, and decide, on a daily basis, what’s right for them as best they can.  And yet it is so difficult to sort out what is teenage angst and blowing off steam and what is at- risk behavior.  Adults are often confused and have difficulty sorting out when their own child’s behavior is cause for serious concern.  How can a child possibly be held to such a high standard of responsibility for other children? 

   We must take steps to help kids understand that getting help for themselves or a friend is not a betrayal of loyalties. Instead it is an act of true friendship.  Kids can learn when and how to get help for themselves and their friends.  CSS offers Community Education programs in middle and high school classrooms which further address the issue….to prevent another teen suicide!

   As parents, it is important to check in with teens during a crisis, at any sign of ineffective coping, deliberate self-harm and when suicide is mentioned. Ask them directly if sometimes they think about killing themselves.

   If your child is at high risk of suicide, remove the means of suicide immediately if possible. Do not leave your child alone.  Get help immediately.  If you don’t know who to call, try your doctor, a therapist, crisis line, mobile crisis unit, parental stress hotline etc. If she has not gone so far as to think/plan a way to kill herself, the risk of suicide is greatly diminished. Attention can then be given to what the major stressors and concerns are.

  For whatever reason, some children are reluctant to open up with their own parents.   Acknowledge this and make it alright for him to talk with someone he chooses. Ask something like, “If you needed to talk with an adult about something troubling you, who do you feel/think understands you and would be supportive?” 

   Asking these questions of our own children is not easy.  But it is a beginning of a dialogue which fosters support and self care that will serve us all, as a family and a community.  There are a multitude of resources and support for teens and families in the Bay Area, all available for referral at our crisis line: 800/309-2131.

    You need not face this alone.

In the 2004-2005 fiscal year Crisis Support Services of Alameda Co. answered 49,917 phone calls. The table above notes the breakdown of those calls by age groups.

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